We Begin

I guess a blog is something that I am supposed to post on almost every day so I am going to give that a go, and since no one is following me on here I feel an inexpressible freedom to get down to the real shit of my experience with bipolar. The first question that comes to mind is how much I can say without getting reported and also how much I should divulge or not divulge to save some wankers asses. Hmmmm, we shall see what comes out and hope for the best.

Let's maybe just start with the basics. I was diagnosed with chronic depression when I was in middle school and I tried what I would guess would be over 30 meds to try to help me with it, but nothing ever stuck. I always felt instinctively that there was more to the picture than just depression. As I got older I started doing more wacky things that I found out later fell into the mania category such as self medication, danger seeking, racing thoughts, insomnia, up all night literally pacing back and forth in my room unable to settle myself enough to sit down, dangerous sex, dubious drugs, and rock and roll

wasted. That type of stuff, some of it more wild than others. Within the last year I finally left the bitch of a doctor I was going to see and started seeing a new one. As I discussed my struggles she asked if I had ever been tested for bipolar which I had not. I filled out the test and discovered that I was on the high end (pun intended) of triggers for mania and most of the points for depression. Thus my struggle with bipolar began. Hope this isn't boring the shit out of you. If ever anyone reads this and wants more of the gritty details you can message me because some of that shit just isn't appropriate for a public blog.

Cheers